Him

As Ann Landers once said, Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is a quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness. Sometimes it matters not when you meet someone because once you meet them, the effect they would have had on you whether you met them earlier on or later would be tantamount. I keep thinking of how things change; sometimes for the better yet other times for the worse; sometimes instantaneous yet other times gradually. How this change takes place is rather minuscule compared to how things turn out at the cessation .But no matter what, change always has reason.
Words will always prove impalpably inadequate when it comes to asseverating how you have changed every single way I look at things. It’s not because of the butterflies or really the way you make me feel because our journey was more gradual than physical. Do I regret not having an ‘us’ earlier? That goes without saying. But our journey pales in comparison to what we have now. With you I was oblivious at first to the fact that I had you around. Having you around was always something I could always count on because you are my best friend before anything else and it didn’t really strike me as something I would one day want to fight for. Isn’t it ridiculous to fight for something you already have?
People always talk about a need for change, or rather a necessity for it. But the impact you had on my life, in giving it meaning was something I never knew I yearned for till you came along. People may develop the notion that I’ve changed, but why not, if it was something I wanted? That change meant everything because it was inspired by you. You make me want to be a better person. Not in the value sense, yet that too can be debateable as well because that isn’t something I would disregard. I am more vivacious because of you. I have a future to fight for more avidly because I want to share it with you and I want something to show for it. I ponder more about my actions because in some way everything I do, no matter how small it may seem will impact me thus us. And I want it to be positive because you inspire me in so many ways without even trying.
I like all the taints that got us where we are now. All those intangible scars that came to be because of all the effort we put into hanging on to us. Even that pain is sacred because in its own way there is a beautiful thing about pain. As much as it ‘demands to be felt’ as put very well by John Green in ‘The Fault in Our Stars’, it also means that something mattered enough to inflict pain when taken away. And hey, there is that thing about pain, it reminds you that you’re not dead yet.
Sometimes you meet someone who compliments you in the most imperfect way yet in doing so makes it all better. We might never always be in good terms; we might fight a lot, but I’d rather fight for all those imperfect moments than have perfect moments that have nothing to do with you. I never thought I’d dream of sharing the person I am with someone, but I guess it takes that special someone to make you think of things outside the ‘you’ box. I love you.

 

Jade Makory