My friend

There it was again…
The blinding pain; so sharp so merciless
Numbing me to the core.
I dragged in a breath of relief as it went away just as fast as it had come.
Beads of sweat lined my brow as I placed a hand over my heart –
It was almost like a heart attack that never came to pass.

“It’s all in your head,” the doctors said
“Stop being silly,” my parents said
But they didn’t understand…
The uncertainty of life was weighing down on me
And I could feel the pressure in my chest –
Always pushing and pulling; then pushing even harder.
I couldn’t breathe.
It was as if, I was choking on oxygen while everyone else just breathed it in and out…
They were normal.

So I decided
To cut my heart out
And replace it with a new one.
Then I met you…
You weren’t handsome; you weren’t pretty,
You weren’t black; you weren’t white,
You weren’t poor; you weren’t rich.
But you were kind and patient,
And listened to all my impatience
To change myself; my heart
So that never again would I get hurt by the things I loved.
When I was done,
You looked at me, smiled, and then said:
“I love you, my friend.”

I still have my heart.
It’s still scarred with all my failed attempts
At school; at work; at love.
But that day, you let me touch your heart
And it beat like mine.
So it beats stronger than ever before
For ours are those that beat with the steady rhythm,
Of having known
The love of a friend.


Loice Kerubo (19)